


Over The Edge

by Yamiyoru



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Anger, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Crossdressing, Depression, F/M, Family Drama, Gen, Lost Soul, M/M, Mistrust, Natsume Soseki quote, New Year's Eve, Suicide Attempts, a lot of it, alternative universe, implied rape, implied suicide, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-09-28 14:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10118618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiyoru/pseuds/Yamiyoru
Summary: ’The moon is beautiful.’’What nonsense are you on about? It’s behind the clouds.’





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's a alternate universe where Souji is the son of a big enterprise. Slow built up and it'll be short chapter after short chapters.

**Over The Edge**

 

_*Phone buzzing*_

Souji: I’m coming home late today. Don’t wait up for me.

Putting the phone aside, Souji turned his attention back to the report on his desk. After running his eyes over the same sentence unproductively for another 5 more times, Souji closed the file and stood up to leave for the night.

Tapping his card on the sensor, Souji gave a curt nod at the guard bowing at him and passed through the security gantry to exit the dimmed building.

‘This way, Sir.’

A older man in a tidy black suit was speaking to him. Beside him, a black car was parked along a empty wide drive through. In a hurried manner, he opened the door to the back seat for Souji.

‘I do believe I told you I don’t need a ride tonight and it’s well beyond your working hours.’

‘I’m sorry but Young Madam is worried.’

Letting out a annoyed sigh, Souji was half tempted to hurl his suitcase through the opened door. Instead, Souji clutched it tighter. It would be pointless to lose it at a man who was only doing his job.

Still, Souji made no attempt to enter the car.

‘Please, Sir.’ Bowing deeply, the man pleaded with his Young Master to step in and not stand stubbornly on the walkway, braving the bone aching chill of a winter night.

Relenting, Souji moved himself into the car and sat heavily back against the slippery leather. As he waited for the car to start, Souji took his phone out to type another message.

Souji: It’s cold tonight. Remember to keep the windows closed and switch on the heater.

When he looked up, Souji noticed the driver was watching him through the rear-view mirror, waiting.

‘Shinjuku, Young Master? I recommend Otoso sake to keep out the cold on this lovely night.’

‘That does sound wonderful. Thank you, Futashiro san.’

Spirit lifting a little and a small smile forming on his face, Souji leaned against the window to admire the night sky. It was a cloudless night with a full moon.

‘It is indeed a lovely night.’

And a second, gentler smile could be seen in the mirror.

_’The moon is beautiful.’_

_’What nonsense are you on about? It’s behind the clouds.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The moon is beautiful' is a Natsume Soseki's quote, who used it to express Japanese's way of saying 'I love you'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’Okaeri. Oh...you look terrible.’_
> 
> _Try fighting people all day just to sign one piece of paper._
> 
> _Hahaha. I fight my editor everyday for any changes and I have just the thing. Warm sake?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Hmph. Sounds good._

After sending the older man on his way and a strong assurance that he would not be reckless with the drinks, Souji stepped off into the alleyway.

However, as he neared the bar he frequented, it gradually became obvious he might need to detour to his second best. The lit signboard was in the same location but it was not the same bar. Instead of the sign reading ‘Purple Rosu’ in a fancy font, what stood in place was a new one named ‘Doriimu Hoomu’. The katakana were written in powerful Japanese calligraphy strokes against a white background and a bent-neck black tulip towering the words.

Behind the stand up sign, there was also a guy with flaming red hair, leaning casually against the stone wall. On his first glance, their eyes met and Souji averted them quickly to the smoke in the other’s hand. Smoking on the job? The lit butt added to Souji’s uncertainty if the man was a customer or a bouncer for the newly opened place. The thought also striking Souji as odd that what sounded like a sophisticated bar below the stairs, had needs for a bouncer. That was of course, if this guy was indeed a bouncer.

Although it piqued Souji’s curiosity, he was not looking to be adventurous today so he took a step away. But before he could take another, a burning cigarette butt landed on the glittering asphalt floor, missing the tip of his polished shoes by a few centimeters.

‘Ha! Good choice, pretty boy. Our shots are too strong for you, Princess.’

Ignoring the man’s taunt, Souji stepped on the cigarette to put it out. Satisfied, Souji swiped the squashed cigarette back with his foot and made his way towards the stairs to the bar. He may now be a grown man and no longer a teenager but his love for defiance still lived on.

When he passed the man, Souji glimpsed a scar drawing across the man’s intimidating features, making his hands clutched a little harder at the handle. The challenge in the other’s eyes excited Souji, for he has always loved the thrill accompanying it. A smile threatened to creep up his face and Souji pushed it away with careful steps down the darker stairs.

At the bottom, Souji needed effort in pushing the heavy door in, which worked well in separating the quiet interior from prying ears. His loafers making sharp taps against the tiles, Souji took his first step into the space of Doriimu Hoomu.

 _’Okaeri. Oh...you look terrible.’_

_'Try fighting people all day just to sign one piece of paper.'_

_'Hahaha. I fight my editor everyday for any changes and I have just the thing. Warm sake?'_

_'Hmph. Good idea.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translator notes. Japanese words in furigana. 
> 
> Purple Rosu - Purple Rose  
> Doriimu Hoomu - Dream Home


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’So this is how Otoso sake taste like. Souji, you lucky asshole to have a chauffeur, who drives you around and makes you food too.’_
> 
>  
> 
> _’Actually, he’s my caretaker but he’s more like a father to me. More than my mother ever was.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Otoso is a spiced sake for the New Year in Japan, like spiced red wine for Christmas. I have never tried it before but it does sound nice.

As Souji expected, the bar gave off a more refined atmosphere but the interior was, at the same time, not as expected. No, scratched that, Souji was not sure what he was expecting when he saw the signboard. It was not the usual sort of names for bars or clubs and now that he was inside, Souji was at a loss of words to describe it.

One wall was a classy grey bookcase wall filled with actual books, paired with two comfy single seater sofas and a round coffee table. On the direct opposite side was a replica of an engawa, completed with a wide LED screen taking up the entire wall to give the illusion of a open garden, partially blocked off with shoji screens to give it privacy. And in the middle of the room was a grand piano standing tall beside a lone white bar table。

Lastly, at the far corner was a bar counter but rather than an array of alcohol aligned along high shelves like trophies, it was decorated to look like a cosy kitchen. Into the wall was a row of built in cabinets made of warm wood and displaying through the glass was stacks of plates, bowls one would find in any home. Squeezed into the side was a family fridge with magnets filling a good portion of the grey plastic.

It was like a themed bar with...eh….a showroom for living space. Souji doubted himself if he remembered the sign correctly as black and white, when it should be blue and yellow.

Souji stood speechless in the same spot, going through the decor a second time. To be honest but not to be rude, Souji believed the designer of the place was drunk when doing his job and was so absorbed by the clashing themes, he did not notice the two ladies standing behind the counter. He most definitely did not see the taller one nudged the smaller to notify her of his presence.

‘Welcome home.’

That caught his attention and Souji looked past the piano to see who said that. The lady with teal hair quickly blushed at Souji’s confused expression but nevertheless, eager to explain.

‘Welcome to Doriimu Hoomu. Here, we do not just want to serve alcohol, we also strive to provide a space where you can find the tranquility of a home and so in short, we greet everyone with “welcome home.” So again, welcome home!’

‘I see...I’m...home…?’

The blue haired lady laughed a little at Souji’s uncertain reluctance at role playing. She did not blame him. It would be weird for anyone else to say it too.

‘Hi, I’m Fuuka.’

‘Souji.’

His eyes travelled to the taller lady beside Fuuka, who had not spoken a word since he entered and not introducing herself as well. She was another one with bizarre coloured hair, which was completely white and Souji wondered if that was one of the requirements to working here. Another observation was she was wearing gloves indoor. Fingerless gloves he could understand but full fingered gloves? And not just any gloves, pure leather ones gripping the table cloth tightly as they stared at each other.

Fuuka followed his gaze to her partner and added, ‘I’m sorry, Souji san. She can’t speak so please excuse her for not greeting you but she can make really good drinks.’

Gesturing to the bar counter for Souji to take a seat, Fuuka cheerfully asked, ‘so what would you like?’

‘Otoso sake.’

‘Oh.’

‘You don’t have it?’

‘No.’

‘Then, warm sake will do.’

‘Oh no,’ Fuuka laughed softly again at her vague answer and corrected herself, ‘that’s not what I meant. I meant “no, Hibika can make it. In fact, she makes really tasty otoso sake. Hibi kun, Otoso onegai.’

Pushing herself off the cabinet, the lady with the name that Souji now knew as Hibika walked inwards for the fridge.

Moving to the counter, Souji chose the seat to the furthest left and placed his suitcase on the chair to his right. Taking mild interest in the two ladies, he half mindedly listened to Fuuka reading the spices needed out loud while checking his phone.

‘..........cinnamon, mikan, tabasco…’

_Wait, what?_

Souji could not help but look up at the last ingredient and saw the white lady placed her hand on the blue one’s hand who was holding the small bottle of a certain familiar red liquid and shook her head. Taking it away and using her long index finger, Hibika pointed it at the herself, at the pot and then at Fuuka and discreetly at him.

Understanding her co-worker’s message, Fuuka smiled. Taking two small ceramic bowls out, Fuuka made herself busy filling them. When she was done, she moved down the counter with them and stood before him.

‘This’s on the house.’

Placed in front of him was Shuto and pickled wasabi. As she handed him a pair of chopsticks, she reached down for some serviette, which came up as orange and black checkered. Seriously, the clashing colour coordination in this place was off the scale and he took it politely from Fuuka, who returned to the bartender's side.

In a short while, his otoso was served as well and she was right, Hibika did make nicely warmed Toso without the spices overwhelming his taste bud. Raising the cup, Souji complimented the skill of the bartender.

‘It taste very good, Hibika san. Almost like how my caretaker makes it.’

Lifting her head from the glass she was wiping, the quiet lady held her gaze with his for a few seconds and slowly, she gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Except she seemed a little upset and after placing the wine glass back into the rack, Hibika went through the door beside the fridge and disappeared into the back.

Fuuka smiled apologetically in his direction and filled more bowls with other complimentary snacks. 

When Souji finished the drink and was ready to leave, Hibika had yet to return, giving him the only option to ask Fuuka to pass his thanks to the lady. Pulling his coat on, Souji mused over it, seeing it as a pity he could not tell her directly.

 _’So this is how Otoso sake taste like. Souji, you lucky asshole to have a chauffeur, who drives you around and makes you food too.’_

_’Actually, he’s my caretaker but he’s more like a father to me. More than my mother ever was.’_

_’I have a great idea. It’s Father’s day soon. How about celebrating the coming Father’s Day with him? Give him a treat or whatever.’_

_’The thing is he always declined my offer.’_

_’Then, tell him we need his help with nabe and have him come over. Of course, put on your best poker face so he can’t tell you’re lying.’_

_’Hmph.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’That’s one plain looking plant.’_
> 
> _’The store said it’s easy to look after.’_
> 
> _’Always the practical realist.’_

Souji jolted awake to his phone buzzing noisily against the glass top and he rested his forearm over his eyes to block out the sunlight that was beginning to stream in. The phone, which was still rattling against the table persistently, was ignored. Knowing full well who the caller was, especially at these early hours.

Comfortable letting the phone rang for at least a few more times, Souji finally sat up from the sofa and grabbed his phone. The screen displayed the caller ID as ‘Yukiko’ and shortly after the call died, it started once more. Swiping it off, Souji threw it onto the adjacent armchair and rubbed his pounding temples. Maybe emptying his supply of beers in the fridge after a bottle of sake was not a good idea.

Yes, he broke his promise but technically, Souji did not if he wanted to argue it in his defence. He promised not to do it outside but since he drank himself under the table in his home and not another bar, it did not count. Alternatively, Souji blamed the Otoso. As much as it was good, it strangely lacked the most important thing that Souji needed for sleep and he downed can after can till he passed out. For a sake, it was strangely low in alcohol content.

Straining to stand up, Souji allowed the emptiness of the apartment to set in before orienting himself into the kitchen for a bottle of water plus some pills to help him get through the day. Supporting his weight with hands placed firmly on the kitchen island, Souji willed away the retching feeling sitting in his stomach and counted the faint cutting marks made into the tabletop. This was what happened when laziness spoke louder over reasoning.

Dragging his feet to a corner with a refilled bottle, Souji emptied the content into the pot of Dracaena standing at a side. Seeing how fast the soil gobbled up the water, Souji was reassured his reason for choosing this plant. For its resilience.

Being the newly appointed COO, Souji barely had time to look after it and yet, it continued standing, brightening Souji’s day a little each time he saw it. At least something of his life still lived on strong and proud.

_’That’s one plain looking plant.’_

_’The store said it’s easy to look after.’_

_’Always the practical realist.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Souji now has a drinking problem and I don't blame him.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’A cat?’_
> 
> _’A scottish fold with those big round head. They’re very adorable. You’ll love it.’_
> 
> _’Well, I’m a little allergic to dust and fur but anything is better than a aquarium.’_
> 
> _’Then, I’m getting a plant.’_
> 
> _’Huh? I seriously don’t get how your brain works.’_

After a quick freshen up, Souji checked the house for any amiss and locked up the apartment. As he twisted the lock, a gruff voice greeted him.

‘Good morning, Seta san.’

It was his neighbour returning from his walk and the corgi wagged its tail at him.

‘Good morning.’

Bending down, Souji rubbed the young dog’s head and along the neck, earning a bark as it rolled over in a complete circle and popped up with another bark. Completely unfazed by the tangled lease, it stood itself up with one leg on Souji’s knee and the other pawing at the material.

‘Goodness. Your pants! Sorry!’

Tugging the leash, the owner was not amused with its tactics and nudged it off before it did any actual damage.

‘I’m really sorry. My grandkids spoil it so it does whatever it wants.’

‘It’s alright. Don’t worry about it. If I’m not this busy with work, I might had kept a cat myself but the poor thing would be locked in the house all the time. So I dismissed the idea.’

‘I know that feeling but don’t be discouraged, wakaimono. You get plenty of time when you ate as much salt as I did. Oh, speaking of which, Futashiro san is already here. I shouldn’t keep you here any longer.’

As the elderly passed him, he gave Souji a pat of encouragement on the shoulder.

And like he said, the same black car was waiting for him and early as always. Opening the door himself, Souji slipped into the front seat, buckled up and looked away, not wanting the older man to see the tension in his body language.

‘Sir, to work? Or h-’

‘Work but drop me off at the Pumpkin Pie.’

‘Yes, Sir.’

_’A cat?’_

_’A scottish fold with those big round head. They’re very adorable. You’ll love it.’_

_’Well, I’m a little allergic to dust and fur but anything is better than a aquarium.’_

_’Then, I’m getting a plant.’_

_’Huh? I seriously don’t get how your brain works.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think a scottish fold would go so well with Souji because he's such a eccentric guy and putting something cute beside someone like that simply throws people off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’Souji. How about this one? It has two rooms and not too far from the station. And most importantly, well within my budget.’_   
>  _’Two rooms? One is enough.’_   
>  _’Ha. Nice try.’_   
>  _’Surely we can get a better one. I'll pay for the both of us.’_   
>  _’Oh, rub it in. No. It’s splitting the bill or we’re not getting one.’_

_*Ding Ding_

‘Welcome~ Ah, Seta san. The usual?’

The energetic part timer sang her words like a song. 

‘Yes, please.’

‘Alrighty~ Take a seat.’ 

A few seconds after he shrugged off his coat, the bell chimed again and a familiar figure walked in.

‘Souji. I’m sorry to always make you come this early.’ 

‘No. I should be the one apologizing for making you meet me all the time. Coffee?’ 

‘That would be great…We pulled an all nighter again. Give me my crack now.’

‘Just a minute~ Satonaka san.’

Resting his coat over the adjacent chair, Souji took the seat beside the window and sat back watching the well dressed men and office ladies speed walked past. All engrossed in their watches, phone or the road. There was one similarity though; none spared a glance at the black cat scaling the bamboo sun shade.

‘For a neko cafe, they sure open early.’ 

‘I don’t think they are one since there’s only 1 cat.’ 

‘And Seta san’s right~ Here’s your usual.’ 

Using the camera mode, Souji snapped a quick shot of the cat, which had switched mode to hanging from the blind like a spider.

Souji: Look at this cat. Probably a olympian in its previous life.

When the message was sent, Souji placed the phone down onto table, lifted his coffee cup for a long, slow sip of the strong liquid. The whole time, with practice he ignored the pointedly sad smile on Chie’s face. 

‘You know...maybe...’ 

‘Any updates?’

‘.........’

Chie lowered her gaze to the tall mug she was cupping in her hands and sighed. The silence sitting as still as her latte, Chie ran over in her mind of the data she could share and shook her head. 

‘I’m sorry, Souji.’

Even though her eyes remained on the dissipating foam, the woman knew her old friend was gripping his cup with disappointment.

‘Don’t be. I know you’re trying your hardest.’ 

‘If I really am, you wouldn’t be beating yourself up over this,’ Chie muttered into her raised coffee. 

At that distance, her words did not go unheard. It was shut out. The first time Chie broke the news, her friend’s steel composure crumbled in a way she wished it was not her sitting there but someone else.

‘I know you’re worried but don’t over do it, okay. Yukiko’s very concerned about the way you pushed yourself.’

‘I’m taking care of myself just fine, Chie.’

‘Really? Try me. When was the last time you went home?’

‘I do go home.’

_’Souji. How about this one? It has two rooms and not too far from the station. And most importantly, well within my budget.’_

_’Two rooms? One is enough.’_

_’Ha. Nice try.’_

_’Surely we can get a better one. I'll pay for the both of us.’_

_’Oh, rub it in. No. It’s splitting the bill or we’re not getting one.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting sad...the way I like it. XD  
> Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’Ok! I’m up. I’m up.....Pass me my phone.’_   
>  _’Here.’_   
>  _’.......wait a sec...it’s a saturday...’_   
>  _’Oops.’_   
>  _’Don’t play dumb.’_   
>  _’I know you don’t like today but happy birthday, Souji. I made breakfast. Surprise?’_

‘Souji, are you working late again tonight?’ 

Sparing a short glance at the owner of the question, Souji regarded it for a while, gave up and returned his attention to his computer. While typing away to his email before he was interrupted, Souji replied curt and sharp. 

‘Yes.’

‘I see. Then, my bento can be your dinner. Don’t worry. Urasaki san made it so it’s not poisonous.’ 

‘Who?’ 

‘New helper. You would know if you were ever at home.’ 

Placing the bento over a pile of documents on the side of the table, his wife asked uncaringly, ‘to finish these reports? Looks like the same pile each time I come in.’ 

Unfazed by the implication, Souji changed the subject. 

‘I can get you a position in the company if you’re interested. After all you do have a degree in business management.’ 

‘I think I’ll decline the offer as I have better things to do.’

 _Of course, your high tea and spas are important._

Both not giving the other a glance, they ended the conversation and like the diva she has grown into, Yukiko strolled out elegantly, to whichever social meeting she had with the wife of some CEO somewhere.

Twirling his chair around, Souji spent the rest of the late afternoon staring out into the darkening skyline.

He lied.

Seta Souji was done with being Mr. Nice Guy.

With no regrets.

_’Wake up, Souji. It’s time for work. ‘_

_’5...more...minutes….I worked late...last night..’_

_’If it doesn’t bother you that you’re keeping an elderly waiting, then by all means.’_

_’Uhmm…’_

_’Below.’_

_’Hmmmmmmm..…’_

_’Engine off.’_

_’…...’_

_’In the cold of midwinter.’_

_’Ok! I’m up. I’m up.....Pass me my phone.’_

_’Here.’_

_’.......wait a sec...it’s a saturday...’_

_’Oops.’_

_’Don’t play dumb.’_

_’I know you don’t like today but happy birthday, Souji. I made breakfast. Surprise?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yukiko and Souji are married. Where's my OTP? (T-T)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’I made sandwiches.’_   
>  _’I’ll pass...they’re not nutritious as breakfast…’_   
>  _’Oh no, you’re eating them. And they’re nutritious as can be. Carbohydrates, protein, egg protein and oil, all in one.’_   
>  _’Sounds legit. Have you ever passed home economics?’_   
>  _’That makes two of us.’_

The moon was sitting high in the sky when Souji finally made a move to leave the office. Once out, he dropped the bento into one of the trash bins. Apologies to whoever san that made it but Souji could care less as he did not ask for dinner.

Once again, Futashiro san was waiting for him patiently outside the building and this time, Souji simply slipped into the car without a second word. He would prefer getting to his destination as quick as possible and the earlier he get there, the earlier he could send Futashiro on his way home.

‘Shinjuku.’

‘Understood.’

It was a silent ride to the usual drop off point and Souji was grateful for it. He could do a little less talking and more drinking. In his mind, he had just the right place to go to.

And Souji’s hunches was right. When he walked in, the place was as empty as he first came. Maybe the bouncer was doing his job too well. Approaching the counter, he noticed Hibika was the only one around but either way, this worked better for him. Taking the same seat as the previous night, Souji spoke a little louder to make sure he had Hibika’s attention.

‘Whiskey, please.’ 

As Souji sat down, his stomach betrayed him by growling loudly and the next thing he knew was instead of the whiskey he ordered, a big glass of milk mixed with orange juice was served. To top it off, a plate with a sandwich was slided towards him.

_Okay. This’s a first._

Unique as well. Other Izakaya would give him more snacks in the same situation but a sandwich was….hmmm...just new to Souji. How should he react to this gesture?

‘No curry rice?’ 

That was the best Souji could come up with.

Unfortunately, Hibika was not in the mood for jokes. Her nicely lacquered lips was set in a firm line and the way she straightened her tall stature while holding Souji with her sharp gaze, it was spelling out “Eat it”. The quietness of the place also allowed Souji to hear her finger tapping on the tabletop in a certain rhythm; the Song of the Irritated. 

Souji complied with stifled laughter. This lady was straight as an arrow and Souji found it enlightening. It had been a while since anyone was this upfront with him.

Souji: I found someone who also throw together bread, cheese, mayo and call it a sandwich.

_’I made sandwiches.’_

_’I’ll pass...they’re not nutritious as breakfast…’_

_’Oh no, you’re eating them. And they’re nutritious as can be. Carbohydrates, protein, egg protein and oil, all in one.’_

_’Sounds legit. Have you ever passed home economics?’_

_’That makes two of us.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sweet. Yet so bitter. 
> 
> Well, the Souji in my game can't cook. Like at all and Yosuke thinks it's not food. Rofl!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’I already have someone I like so it doesn’t matter._   
> _’Who?! Tell me! I need to know!’_   
> _’Hai........’_  
>  _’I’m sorry but did you just sigh at me?'_

For reasons he refused to admit, Souji found himself returning to Doriimu Hoomu for another night and enjoying the silent treatment Hibika endoused him in.

Tonight, however, he walked into a worrisome scene. The usually antsy looking Hibika was not behind the counter but was sitting hunched over on the piano stool. Souji was not a doctor but it was obvious to him the lady was in pain.

‘Hibi kun, is your hand acting up again?’

Fuuka was half kneeling before Hibika and in the midst of slipping the glove off but quickly abandoned it to stand up to greet him when she saw him. Approaching the two ladies, his keen observation told him Hibika was in more pain than she wanted it to be shown. As the grip she had on her left arm was more of a death grip, crumbling up the material of the sleeve.

‘Do you need a ride to the nearest hospital?’

Shaking her head furiously and as if it was to prove something, Hibika attempted to stand from the stool but was pushed down by Fuuka.

‘No. Sit here while I get your medicine. Souji san, help me watch her. Don’t let her walk around, please.’ 

And Fuuka rushed to the back, leaving Souji to watch the top of the bartender’s head, who froze when Souji produced a heat pad from his coat and pressed it over her tensed wrist and fist. With a mainly unresponsive Hibika, Souji settled with holding the heat pad in place for her.

‘Try to relax. Do you feel faint? Can you feel your fingers?’

Souji looked up to see not a reply but only sweat drops in the crease of her frown. Without so much of a thought, he wiped her sweat away with his sleeve and at last, got a reaction; prompting the lady to purse her lips and look away. 

_This lady is seriously prideful._

In a good way. Souji would have smiled a little but Hibika’s pained gaze killed it while the crucial Fuuka still had not return. Maybe he could try something else even if it would not be as useful as the medicine. 

Using his free hand, he tried to play the piano, in hopes it would distract Hibika from the pain for just that little bit. Absorbed into making what was called a huge lack of practice into a sound piece, Souji did not notice Hibika’s tremble the moment his fingers hit the keys. 

_’Didn’t want to believe it but you really can play the piano. I guess it should be expected of the son of a zaibatsu. What other rich people hobbies you have?’_

_’Watching you smile and listening to your voice.’_

_’Souji, the group date event is over for hours. You can stop pretending now.’_

_’I’m serious.’_

_’Yeah right. Say that to the girls then. They will swoop you like the dream BF of their life….What’s with that look? Please tell me you know the girls are pinning for you.’_

_’They are?’_

_’You must be kidding me. Dude, you honestly don’t know?’_

_’Is that important?’_

_’Yeeessss!’_

_’I already have someone I like so it doesn’t matter._

_’Who?! Tell me! I need to know!’_

_’Hai........’_

_’I’m sorry but did you just sigh at me? You know what? I have a great idea. I‘m entering you into “Our School Has Talent!” tomorrow. That’ll surely earn you a good spot with the girl you like.’_

_’........’_

_’What?_

_’Go ahead but I won’t go on stage because I don’t enjoy playing it in front of others.’_

_’Geez, thanks for telling me I’m special.’_

_’No. You’re chopped liver.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my. Souji is being unfaithful. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’He called you a pussy.’_   
>  _'No. he called me a fag, to be exact.'_   
>  _'How dare him. That rotten nuts bag.'_   
>  _'Souji, why is your curses so PG?'_

Chie: Do me a favor. DON’T go drinking for a while. A lot of mugging going around the area you frequent.

 _Chie, thank you for your warning._

Although it would have been so much better if the warning came a little earlier, and not during it, alerting the entire alley to his presence when his phone meowed loudly. Souji originally planned to watch the exchange quietly but it looked like he might need to take part in fight or flight.

Coming back to how it even started, it was quite the coincidence. Unlike the usual, Souji decided to take a shortcut to the bar as he was dropped off from a different location. The so called shortcut also happened to be called the Fight Alley, where everyone knew arguments turned rowdy were settled there, as it conveniently ran behind the line of bars. Away from prying eyes.

Even for the most desperate smoking breaks, most would avoid it, but Souji would blame it on the dumb luck he had inherited, to run into Hibika and 2 guys trying their best to hit on her.

So standing at the end of an alleyway, Souji had the honour of taking first row seats, watching the men doing their species no prouder. Hibika, who was holding a bag of trash, shared the demeanor of a certain Iced Queen he knew and she strolled past their advances without so much of a glance. 

Unfortunately for her, the two belonged to the worst end of drunkens’ peculiar behavior. Not the crying type or the laughing for no particular reason ones either. They were the kind, who thought they could manhandle a lady and forgotten the opposite sex too was not to be underestimated, which Souji knew too well. 

Souji was rather impressed when Hibika took the chance of his purring ringtone, which distracted the guys momentarily, to swing the bag of trash at them. From the sound made at contact with the man’s side and how they were swept off their feet, the full black plastic bag was filled with something heavier and harder than waste. 

_This woman can handle herself._

Souji had a second to calmly put his phone back into pocket before a tug pulled him away from the stumbling and cursing men. Flight it was.

A steady string of click clock filled the narrow walkway as Hibika stabbed the asphalt floor with her heels, making their way out to the main street. She did not stop for the curious bouncer and sped right past. Souji guessed it would be up to The Bouncer to settle their pursuers, whom Souji strangely knew could beat the drunk men to a pulp and the hysterical laugh that came after was no surprise. And yet Souji still had no idea what was his name. 

_’We’re not fighting?’_

_’No.’_

_’He called you a pussy.’_

_'No. he called me a fag, to be exact.'_

_'How dare him. That rotten nuts bag.'_

_'Souji, why are your curses so PG?'_

_'Don't change the subject.'_

_’Whatever. Let’s go.’_

_’........’_

_’Come on. I don’t want Chie yelling at me again for getting you into trouble.’_

_’It’s a man’s job to protect his love.’_

_’Hey. I’m not a woman, you asshole.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. I do think Souji will curse creatively since we only heard him say 'damn' like once.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I’m sorry._  
>  _Did you burn the kitchen again?_   
> _Yosuke?_   
> _Are you there?_  
>  _Yosuke, you’re scaring me._   
> _I’m coming home now. Let’s talk, okay?_

‘Seta Souji, what the hell were you doing there? I thought I said don’t go drinking for a while. And don’t try to deny it. I saw you being led away by a woman.’ 

_Dragged away, really._

To be perfectly honest, he was far too old to be subjected to this level of roasting by Chie and yet, here they were, in a family restaurant, doing just that and not enjoying dinner. Then again, Souji was thankful to the location that Chie was not yelling, taking careful restraint to grit her words out instead. 

Putting his phone back onto the table, Souji took his time to sit back and fold his arms over his chest. Spanning across their long friendship, Chie’s temperament matured while his degraded into a pile of charred waste. The once caring and jolly leader was replaced with a bitter man, who was less than forgiving to mistakes, earning him fitting titles that multiplied when he made the same few people walked. Souji was so close to losing it once more when he heard Chie’s next statement. 

‘I can’t believe you went to a hostess club.’

It was not about Chie’s accusation or the jab at his integrity as a married man. He could let her go on about him being unfaithful but at that very moment, Souji felt the need to defend Hibika. Taking a deep breath, Souji allowed his words come out slow and soft. 

‘Chie. I don’t care what you think of me but don’t you berate her. Don’t _ever_ call her a hostess again.’ 

‘And why is that?’

Souji tried to keep it all in, to find it within himself to not let his climbing anger control the flow of the conversation but as his numbers climbed, the barricade made for his friends was lost.

‘Is Yukiko the one who told you to do this? You would do anything for your best friend, wouldn’t you?’

_Shut up._

But Souji ignored his voice of reason.

‘Even more diligent than your actual job.’

‘What?’ 

The disbelief in Chie’s eyes was enough to make him regret his words but it was too late to apologize and so Souji resorted to leaning his lips heavily on his fist and looking away. 

‘Ten years ago, I would have kicked you hard for saying that.’ 

_You should._

Because of all his friends, Chie has been the most supportive, going out of her way and beyond her job to help him in all possible methods. She did not deserve his irrational spur of the moment.

Souji wished Chie would kick him hard to wake him up but she did not as she had something harsher. 

‘Souji, I know you want good news and each time, I too want to walk in with at least something but I’m sorry, I don’t have any.’ 

_Don’t apologize, please..._

‘And I’m sorry to tell you the case is going cold without any new leads.’

_They’re going to put the case on the shelves..._

The restaurant suddenly felt way colder than it should be when it was bustling with people. Shaken by the news, Souji chose to stand up and walk away, to be stopped by Chie who caught on to his wrist and tightened her hold. She needed him to hear the rest.

‘I’m saying this as an officer and not as a friend. Consider this.’

Chie’s voice dropped low and almost to a drag, like she did not want to say it but she did. 

‘If he wants to be found, he would have shown up a long time ago.’

That was it. Souji could not bare to stay there any longer and he shook her hand off roughly. This time, Chie let him leave. 

_I’m sorry._

_Did you burn the kitchen again?_

_Yosuke?_

_Are you there?_

_Yosuke, you’re scaring me._

_I’m coming home now. Let’s talk, okay?_

_This isn’t funny. I’m getting angry._

_Yosuke. Did I do something wrong?_

_Yosuke, please pick up my call._

_Please, Yosuke. Please answer my call._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to think Chie has matured tremendously over the years because her job as a officer demands for it and at the same time, taught her how to. 
> 
> As for Souji is in a downward spiral after losing Yosuke.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _’I love you.’_   
>  _’I know.’_

‘Fuuu...ka...saaan?’

Through his heavy eyelids, Souji struggled to pronounced her name correctly as he made his way across the room. It was a miracle that he did not trip on the flat, clean floor or crash into the chairs before the bartop. Placing his hands heavily on the bartop, Souji dropped himself into the high chair opposite the two ladies. 

The usually cheerful lady lost her smile when her nose took in a whiff of the strong alcohol reeking off him. Immediately, she placed the glass down and rounded to him. 

‘Souji kun, are you okay?’ 

What a strange question to ask. Of course, he was fine. He only drank some martell and vodka shots before this.

‘Huh? I don’t know! Hahaha!’ In a voice louder by a notch above his usual.

Holding her hand that she placed on his shoulder, Souji caught a glimpse of light reflecting off his finger and squinted his eyes at it…..it looked like a...

‘Souji kun, let’s get you home.’

‘No, no no nooo…one’s home anyway. Except Charlie.’

‘Charlie?’ 

‘My plant….’ 

‘Souji kun, you want some water?’ 

‘For my plant?’ 

‘No. No. For you. Hibika kun.’ 

‘Hibika is here too? I didn’t see you there.’ 

Souji muttered his words out in a slurp and directed his attention to her. He could not see her expression but he was sure it would be full of disgust like the bouncer out front. But who cares? No one ever did. So he was going to tell them a story. 

‘You know how I got this ring?!’

Letting go of Fuuka’s hand, Souji flashed them the platinum band with a topaz and sapphire embedded side by side. 

‘I tailor made a pair in the image of my love. And after I was promoted, I proposed to him and he said ‘yes!’’

Yosuke agreed to marry him. Souji could not describe how happy he was when he heard his answer, thinking he heard wrongly as everyone knew, Yosuke could say one thing and mean the other thing. That day, Yosuke meant what he said and Souji did not remember what he did next, that he called everyone about it or shout it out on his FB. Or both but he did remember being the happiest man on earth.

‘Until he left me…A month before our wedding, he disappeared.’

Forcing a bitter laugh at his hand, Souji remembered how he came home to find it empty. He waited day in and day out for Yosuke to return, hoping what Yosuke did was going on a trip to find his muse for his new novel but it was desperate wishing. Yosuke’s last message meant to leave him and he came home too late to stop it. 

‘I don’t blame him though. I wasn’t a very good partner.’

With Naoto’s help, it did not take him long to figure out what happened to Yosuke and ever since, Souji lived a life of remorse. Why did he not realize it earlier? He should have been there.

‘I’m sorry, Yosuke. I’m sorry.’ 

Burying his head into arms, the alcohol in the system quickly moved to claim him. In no time, he had passed out at the table with the two bartenders watching him in silence. 

Lowering herself to the floor, Fuuka picked up the suitcase that Souji had discarded on the side while Hibika looked on expressionless. When she stood up, Hibika’s reached out hand paused a inch above Souji’s head and Fuuka looked away. She was intruding and moved to take the suitcase to the back room for safe keeping. 

Before she turned the corner, the smaller lady turned to Hibika, who had removed her hand and clutching it tightly while placed against the tabletop. As her senior, Fuuka felt the need to voice what she thought was the right thing to do.

‘Hibika, the worst thing anyone can ever do is to give someone false hope. I know it best so my advice to you is don’t make the hole bigger unless you can fill it all up.’

_’I love you.’_

_’I know.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Souji, he's depressed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _*A phone buzzed*_
> 
>  
> 
> Souji: Yosuke, I’m coming. Wait for me.

Souji woke to a kick to the side of what he was sleeping on and a pounding headache. He groaned over the pain and held his head with his hand. The artery throbbed to each protesting movement. 

‘Serve you right.’ 

That voice...Souji slowly turned his head to see Chie standing tall over him and behind her, gradually coming into view was the walls of his living room. 

‘What happened?’ 

‘The same annual shit you do.’ 

Sounded about right. 

‘You found me after how many tries?’

Chie had a face that was twitching and pretty much said she wanted to smack him but controlled herself and stepped away to the kitchen instead. 

‘You have no idea how infamous you are in that district. That apparently, the new bar simply called the police station and asked for me directly.’

‘They did?’

‘Not sure why they knew who to find though.’ 

A glass of freezing tap water was thrust into his hands.

‘Probably the previous Mama san told them before moving. You know you’re lucky they didn’t just throw you out into the streets for anyone to rob.’

 _I suppose._

Sitting herself into the lush sofa seat, Chie propped herself up at the edge of leather, her back straight and proud. She had something to tell him again. 

‘You need to stop doing this, Souji.’ 

With no place for him to run and hide.

‘What’re you trying to say?’

Offense was the best defence was what some would say but in his case, Souji only wanted to take his question back. He knew what Chie was implying and the rest...

‘I think it’s time to face the truth.’

Was what he feared the most. 

‘Face the truth?’

‘Yes.’ 

Souji need not look up to know how solemn Chie would seem right now and he could not raise his head. Maybe he could laugh it off. 

‘What truth?’ 

It came out afraid and wilful. 

‘Souji…’

‘There’s no truth.’

 _Yeah, there isn’t._

‘Stop lying to yourself.’ 

‘I’m not. I have work. Can we talk another day?’ 

‘It’s a sunday.’ 

‘Then, I need to sleep. I have a headache.’

Chie did not fall for it.

‘Ten years, you come home to an empty house. You bought the entire estate to preserve how the place looks. Or how you maintained Yosuke’s phone line so you can message to his number. And for what? That Yosuke’s still out there? And he would come home?’

 _Shut up. I don’t want to hear it._

Souji stood abruptly despite his body’s protests and he grabbed Chie by her arm to lead her to the door. 

‘STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!’

Chie held her ground and pushed Souji back as tears trickled down the face of the usually brave girl. It was too much. Both were her friends and she did not wish either ill. However, there came a time for everyone to choose and between the two, she chose the one that was still here. Rubbing her tears away roughly with her sleeve, Chie said what she felt she should have done a long time ago.

‘Souji. The experts don’t think there is much chance of Yosuke surviving the jump.’ 

‘He’s not dead.’

‘It’s a 60 feet drop between him and the ocean below. Even if he missed the rocks, it’s in the middle of winter. If you don’t die from that height, you will die from that temperature.’

‘Shut up. Get out.’

Souji’s breathing quickened and came out as gasps. But Chie had more to say.

‘No. The important thing now is your mother. We need— Chie’s words cut short and winced at Souji’s tightened grip.

‘I said out.’ 

Practically dragging the small woman to the door, Souji did not care if his grip was hurting his old friend. Pushing her out, he slammed the door immediately. 

‘Souji!’

Sliding heavily down with the door as his only support, Souji told himself to take deep breaths and slowly, as his hands began to shake. He needed his med. Not hearing the pounds on the door, he looked around nervously for his bag, Souji could not see it on top of the stool where he usually left it. Where could it be? 

Souji had to take them now and pull his arms tight around himself, which were taking to a violent tremble. Of all days to have it triggered, it has to be the day he lost his bag. Hoping he had taken it out, Souji searched his pocket a little frantically and something hard dropped out onto the tiles. Grasping onto whatever it was, Souji closed his eyes to keep out the spinning sensation.

 _It’ll pass. It’ll pass._ was all Souji could chant to himself as nausea kicked in and he squeezed the object in his hand. The only thing that was telling him he was still conscious. 

When the episode finally past, Chie had left and sweat was soaking through his shirt, with his sticky palm squeezing the fallen object. Opening his palm, Souji realized it was his phone and raised it up. There was no flashing light to indicate a unseen message. Much less a orange one he has specifically set for Yosuke. 

Unlocking his phone and launching the app, he opened up to the page for Yosuke and as usual, it was quiet. 

Souji: I found someone who also throw together bread, cheese, mayo and call it a sandwich.  
Souji: Look at this cat. Probably a olympian in its previous life.  
Souji: It’s cold tonight. Remember to keep the windows closed and switch on the heater.  
Souji: I’m coming home late today. Don’t wait up for me.

Ten years worth of his messages to Yosuke and none returned. 

Souji: What do you think is good for dinner on a chilly night? Extra spicy mabo tofu?  
Souji: I moved Charlie to a sunny corner since you always said it needed more sun.  
Souji: I'll wait for you. Even if it takes forever.  
Souji: It's our wedding today. Did you forget the venue?

A small droplet hit the screen and Souji’s finger shakily wiped it away. 

‘Why? Yosuke...’ Souji asked himself as more tears crept down his face uncontrollably. 

_What a stupid question. You know exactly why he left you._

Souji: Is it about the wedding? I assure you I only invited our friends. No one else will be there.  
Souji: Tell me what happened. I'm sure we can talk about it.  
Souji: Please, Yosuke. Answer my call.  
Souji: Yosuke, please pick up my call.  
Souji: Where are you? This isn’t funny. I’m getting angry.  
Souji: I’m coming home now. Let’s talk, okay?

_You should never have left him alone at home. It’s all your own fault._

Souji: Yosuke. Did I do something wrong?  
Souji: Did I make you angry somewhere? I'm sorry for joking about the kitchen incident.

_You never understood him._

Souji: Yosuke, you’re scaring me.  
Souji: Are you there?  
Souji: Where are you? Pick up my call.  
Souji: You're acting weird. I'm calling you.  
Yosuke: Goodbye.

_That’s why it’s a right thing he left you._

Yosuke: I’m sorry.  
Souji: Yosuke?  
Yosuke: I'm sorry.

_You don’t deserve his apology._

_You don’t deserve him._

‘I’m sorry, Yosuke.’

|  
|  
|  
|

_*A phone buzzed*_

Souji: Yosuke, I’m coming. Wait for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Souji is depressed and abusing alcohol.  
> And yes again, I write depressing stories. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Yosuke, I love you.’
> 
> Souji took a step back, towards the air behind him.
> 
> ‘I still love you.’
> 
> It was time and Souji let his body tipped backwards into the cold embrace of the approaching storm.

Souji wanted them to be happy. 

They both have a stable job. Yosuke was doing well as a co-author in the horror genre. He himself was newly promoted to a team leader in the marketing department, and thus he thought it was time to propose. Yosuke too accepted without any reluctance. Things were going smooth. Even the planning was easy. They would exchange their vows in Canada, while inviting only their closest friends to witness it. And the team was delighted with the news. 

As for the lives leading from their marriage? Souji has imagined the same, where barely nothing else changed, with him still loving Yosuke; to come home to Yosuke’s cooking, a soft kiss on his love’s cheek, steal a small bite of Yosuke’s mildly edible dishes while making casual jokes at the food. Then lastly, if Yosuke was not rushing for a deadline, perhaps a taste of something more than dessert.

Souji thought they would be happy.

Souji trusted everyone was happy for them. 

Never would he know his mother was against his engagement to Yosuke. So much so she went as far as harming Yosuke. 

His simple happiness was all dashed within a short business trip. Destroyed by his mother’s atrocious acts, which came into light through Yosuke’s laptop. Even the only thing his love left behind was tarnished by her. Uncovered by Naoto were threats and videos revealing to him the truth of Yosuke’s departure and the helplessness his fiancé had endured.

He should not have left home. He should not have left Yosuke alone to suffer in the hands of a soul so hideous and ugly. He should not have trusted his mother. He should have realized it earlier that his mother’s eyes holds only prestige and money. He should have known better. He should have rushed home at the first second he felt something was not right.

All these ‘should not’ and ‘should have’ that came late. A week too late to an empty house and the icy realisation of Yosuke doing more than leaving the house. Yosuke’s last message to him was his last words.

However, maybe it was not too late if he atoned for it. Standing at the edge, Souji took a look at the raging sea below. Just another step and he would rejoin Yosuke, where they would not be separated by anyone. 

‘Wait for me, Yosuke.’

One more step and he would be there. 

‘Wait!’ 

A shout from behind him broke his fixated trance on the partially visible sea scree and Souji turned slowly to the voice. It was a face he had least expected to see, although one he had seen quite often for the past week. It was strangely satisfying to see panic in her eyes as he remembered her main emotion being anger, irritated about something he did each time.

‘Wait.’ The lady pleaded. Her whitely powdered mask crumbling and her emotional turmoil showing in her voice. 

_She could speak all along?_

But more importantly...

‘Hibika san? How do you know I’m here?’

‘That’s not important.’ Hibika replied immediately. In a voice deeper and hoarser than what Souji expected from a lady looking this feminine.

Hibika took a careful step towards the man, who was standing dangerously close to the other side. Souji stayed firm.

‘You’re right. It isn’t. Nothing is.’ 

There was a huge gaping distance between her and Souji but none between him and the cliff side. Hands raised, she coaxed him to move closer to her. 

‘Souji, just step away from there.’

The exhausted soul guessed he could humour her a little. What was a little chat and a few minutes more? After he left Yosuke alone for a decade? Well, patience was never Yosuke’s forte but Souji was sure he would not mind.

‘This is the spot where my fiancé decided to take his life. Now I’m standing here myself, I wonder what were his final thoughts when he stepped off? What’s he looking at in his last moments? Was it the rocks? Or a beautiful weather with white fluffy clouds before he smashed into the freezing water?’

His question only brought on conflict and distress, into those brown eyes widening in reply. His upbringing instinctively told him he should be ashamed of himself for putting a lady into a spot. What a bad joke and Souji chuckled humorlessly at it. Not because the situation was a joke to him but because of the irony of it all; the same family, who taught him the so-called ethics fitting of their name, was in fact the most immoral of them all. 

‘Funny story, actually. Yosuke once told me my family’s fortune is like the unreachable sky and it stresses him out. So he needed to work harder in order for him to stand on the same level. What he didn’t know is all I ever needed is him, not the sky.’

_Without him, what’s a damn sky for._

As if disagreeing with him, a big gust of wind picked up from out of nowhere, sweeping small pebbles down into the unforgiving ocean while Souji maintained his weakened hold to the ground. Or agreeing with him as any stronger, it would be God’s nudge for him to fall further from the sky. 

Joining the mess was thunder beating in the distance. A second wave pushed at them, making Hibika’s hair flew wildly in the current but her eyes stayed on him. Not even blinking. It was as if the second she took her eyes off him, he would be gone. 

_She’s not wrong._

It was a oddly familiar feeling. In the same way whenever Yosuke read him like a book. And this lady? Despite how little he knew her, the other seemed to observe him enough to challenge him each time with a good counter, never letting him get his way whenever he entered the bar. Even in his last moment, Hibika somehow showed up here, at this convenient place and timing to deny him of his desires. 

_Hm. She’s something._

And maybe the reason he was still talking to her and not doing what he came for. 

‘You know, you remind me so much of him that it hurts. He loved to tell me “no”.’

_Why is it you and not Yosuke?_

‘There were so many times when I’m looking at you, I saw him. The way he elbow-closed the fridge door or the way he tapped his finger against the tabletop when he’s irritated with me but doesn’t want to talk about it.’ 

It hurt so badly that on so many times, he wanted Yosuke to be the one standing behind the bar and not Hibika. 

‘Or how you people could outrun me in those ridiculous fashion boots? You, even better, in heels.’ 

Souji was praising Hibika but she did not smile. Instead, she looked troubled. Equally, Souji too was tormented. 

‘The worst is I actually enjoyed your company.’ 

Which frightened Souji. His love took his own life and there he was, being happy? He was not allowed. Any short moment of bliss was as good as betraying Yosuke. And yet, he went back. Again, and again to try and fill up the emptiness Yosuke dug from his heart, with a substitute. It was no wonder Yosuke left him.

The thought of Yosuke suffering in a world lost to him while he enjoyed life disgusted him. Cupping his mouth with one hand, Souji squeezed his stomach with the other as he swallowed the taste of bile back in. Souji felt ill, sick of himself. 

‘Souji, listen to me. Don’t do this for someone who doesn’t love himself. He doesn’t deserve you doing this.’

In his haze of revulsion, Hibika has gotten arm length closer to him. He must credit her for her tenacity, for the same lady, who would not look him twice in the eyes, was trying so hard right now. To help an unrelated, wretched man such as himself. Although how did Hibika manage to find him escaped his dormant curiosity. This was a message to Souji, telling him “there’s always more to what lies on the surface.” 

Except he was too lost to understand and feel. 

‘You’re right again. He deserves so much more than me. If it wasn’t for me, those things wouldn’t have happened to him. It was me who brought it upon him.’

‘It wasn’t you.’

Shaking her head, Hibika blinked back the tears gathering in her eyes.

Too blinded by guilt, he looked into the same soft brown eyes and saw only a ghost.

‘What would you know? You’re not him.’

‘It wasn’t you.’ She repeated hopefully. 

Too deafened by grief, he could only hear the differences and not the similarities within the cracks. 

‘It wasn’t me? What my mother did was as good as me doing it because her blood flows in me. The woman I called “Mother” hired a man to…’ 

Just the mention of it and the resurfacing images of the video made Souji dizzy. Drugged but conscious, Yosuke was not given the rights to scream or retaliate, only able to cry soundlessly as he lived the experience of his own body being taken forcefully and taped. The whole time…

‘I was sitting comfortably in a chair somewhere, staring at charts, numbers with people I fired years ago.’

_Because meetings were so damn important._

‘It’s not your fault.’

Interrupting his thoughts was Hibika’s reassurance. Souji could only imagine this was also how devastated Yosuke looked, when the latter was picking himself up, bruised all over on the outside. When his soon to be husband chose not to confide in him, torn thoroughly on the inside. 

_Because he never trusted you to be his pillar of support. You’re useless._

‘Hibika san. I let him suffer alone.’

‘You didn’t know. _He_ didn’t let you know.’ 

Another joyless laugh. 

‘Good excuse, isn’t it? To simply say “I don’t know.” Hibika san, why would he tell anyone? Anyone in his situation wouldn’t be able to get help.’

Forced smile twisted downwards. 

‘And you know what’s else? That woman called him a slut when she’s the one who did it.’ 

_How was he to tell me any of it._

A sob escaped his throat.

‘She called Yosuke dirty when I’m the one who’s dirty with a mother like her.’

_I should have never been born._

Subconsciously, Souji turned to the ocean. It was time. 

‘No! Yosuke’s not dead!’

Souji paused to give Hibika a glance. Did he hear that correctly?

‘It’s me. I thought no one could help me when I should have believed in you. I let myself believe I wasn’t good enough for you when it was me who didn’t love himself enough.’

_Hibika san, you’re trying too hard._

Souji stared at the lady blankly. 

‘I’m really Yosuke. This is just make up.’

_She’s really desperate if she’s using a dead man’s name._

But if Yosuke was really alive, then he had some things, some very important words he needed to tell his love. 

‘Yosuke…’

_If you’re really there._

‘I let things happen to you when I said I will treasure you for life. I wasn’t there for you when you were hurt.’

‘It’s not you.’

‘Don’t say sorry to me. I should be the one saying sorry to you.’

‘I’m alright now.’

‘Will you forgive me?’ 

‘You’re not listening, Souji.’

‘It’s obvious you are doing so much better without me.’

‘No. I’m not. Please listen to me. Souji. It’s really me. I’m not-’

‘I’m sorry, Yosuke. I can’t kill her for you but I can make your life easier.’

‘Souji?’

‘Yosuke, I love you.’

Souji took a step back, towards the air behind him.

‘I still love you.’

It was time and Souji let his body tipped backwards into the cold embrace of the approaching storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada~ Although I think it's quite obvious it was Yosuke all along.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It wasn’t a dream or illusion? It really is Yosuke?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The team is back.

Souji stirred uncomfortably from a dreamless slumber and gradually into another pounding headache, like waking from a hangover on a hot summer day. Coming into focus was not the freckling ceiling or the asphalt floor he was used to seeing. In place was a ceiling fan that was stationary and on the side, sitting comfortably in a armchair and typing furiously on a phone was Yukiko. 

She was not what Souji last saw and he looked away, dejected at a spot in the wall. So it was a dream or hallucination that he saw, and not the real Yosuke. 

His diligent wife paused in the midst of her intense non-verbal conversation, to give him a pursuing glance. Souji had grown used to ignoring her and he knew what was coming.

‘Why? Disappointed?’ 

Matching the bold red dress she was donning, Yukiko’s words were always specifically sifted to rub him the wrong ways. 

‘Oh no. I think the question should be “ _who_ you’re expecting? Then, I’m sorry I’m not some hot stud with nicely dyed hair. One you waited for at least a decade.’

‘Bitch’ was the closest word Souji could summarize his emotions into but he kept it all in. In the same way he was too numbed by his loss to not do anything when he found out his mother had forged the papers to their marriage. Knowing it and yet, Yukiko moved into their house. On that day, their friendship and his respect for Yukiko ended. 

‘Usually, you would have a good comeback but probably you hurt your throat together with your head.’ 

_Why, thank you for your concern, woman._

Yukiko, on the other hand, studied her “husband’s” expressionless face in all seriousness. It was no joke as Souji did have a mild concussion. Seeing no pain or any nauseous symptoms, she relaxed into the chair although her anger still sat at the tips of her tongue.

Does this man understand just how much he had frightened them? Regularly. It was a lifetime worth of heart attack when Chie called her to come to the hospital. It was as bad as the time when she found out about Yosuke and the fury she felt had not lessened.

‘Souji, you find it romantic reenacting the whole Romeo and Juliet double suicide love scene?’ 

No response was given but that was okay, Yukiko only needed him to listen. They were married for over half a decade and during the entire span, Souji was never home, always leaving her in a big house with his mother and a helper. Have he never heard of the phrase ‘never fit 3 women into 1 kitchen’? Because she really had to thank him for it was an incredibly fun marriage for her.

‘Souji, I’m your wife for years. You wouldn’t touch me. You treat me like I was not worth your time. You wouldn’t even look at me. Like right now.’

Souji almost snorted at her but he would not give her the satisfaction. 

‘Sometimes, I do wonder why a ghost is all you care about. More than anyone else who are alive and there for you. Even Rise, with her busy schedule, has done more than Yosuke did.’ 

Under her sharp scrutinizing gaze, Souji told himself not to react to her shaming of Yosuke.

‘And today, I think I was given my answer. Both you and Yosuke are nuts.’

That was it.

‘Stop talking about him.’ 

Coldy, he regarded Yukiko with a fierce resolve to end the direction of this one sided discussion. She returned it with the perseverance of a widowed wife to a undead husband.

‘Why not? Now is the perfect time or I will never get the chance again. Frankly, I should smack you and him. For all we have done for you guys, this is what we get. The nerve of you two. So seriously, Souji.’

Abandoning the gentle, docile daughter act she had to put on in front of the mother in law, Yukiko stood abruptly up to stand right beside the bed, mustering her annoyance into her down casted, condescending gaze. 

‘I’m done being your wife too. First, you insult my charm as a woman, like I was dirt to you. Second, you leave me to handle your mother for you. Then, you show me love is to jump off a cliff. What. The. Fuck. Asshole.’

Sliding off the ring, she placed the fake metal bond carefully onto the table cabinet at the side. A off counter gold ring made to withstand the erosion of time, crafted to look lovely by capturing and reflecting the natural light in the warm afternoon sun. It was truly beautiful as an object but the chapter for it had came to a close.

Although she had to say goodbye to her marriage, Yukiko was relieved she could finally let it go and smiled at the golden band. When a door closes, another opens. If there was no door, climb through the window. Her smile lifting into a smirk, Yukiko turned to pick up her bag to sling it over her shoulder as she vaguely elaborated, ‘none of the team has ever intended to let your mother walk free of her crimes for too long.’ 

Feeling some of the weight in her heart lifting, Yukiko clapped her hands together and declared, ‘as celebration to my “oh, finally rewarded, allll deserving” freedom, I’ll let you know your hunch of me holding an inferior motive has always been right. I did marry you for a reason but it wasn’t for the money. I don’t need such filthy money. Don’t be so full of yourself. And neither are you the only partner of Yosuke. I’ll give your mother a taste of what it feels to ruin my career.’

That was right. Amagi Yukiko had a career, as an upcoming writer, receiving recognition for her horror novels. Story telling was not a hobby to scare her bestie anymore. It was her job. Her audience expanded from Chie to the bigger world outside their little town. The thrill was no longer from Chie’s reaction but from the comments she received. They were satisfying, rewarding and at times frustrating but it fueled her life, adding colour and meaning to a small town girl. 

For all that to be taken from her. 

On the first day, she could not find her co-writer. Her messages left unread on a non responsive line shook her partnership with unease. To be informed on the seventh that one of her good friends was missing, her worries was filled with immense anger at the revealed truth of her friend’s take off. 

They searched endlessly for the man. 

Months came and left, she could only hope he did not choose the worst for himself and wish he comes home to them. For years, she watched another friend lost himself bit by bit, drowning in his present, moping in the past, giving up the willpower to live life properly. And one day, she got an anonymous tip off to the true culprit.

They could not sit around anymore. 

She only needed to get close to the real murderer and she was the best candidate. She had the right background, training so on and on, while pretending to be the good girl was her speciality. 

She would get to the bottom of this. Even at the expense of her chance for a comeback with her solo debut. Her friendship and Souji’s trust in her would be tested but it would be worth it. It would be.

Because no one messed with her family.

‘But for now, I’m just glad both my friends are back.’

Dropping the fury from her tone, she prepared an early gift for the coming new year.

‘Souji, Yosuke is really back. So seriously, get your butt off the bed already. It’s only a headache.’

Yukiko did pause long enough to flash Souji a smile. 

‘Also, this time, don’t let him slip through your grasp again. That slimy eel is very good at it and I know it well since he’s always disappearing before deadlines.’

Of course, as congratulatory payback to her wasted womanhood, she must add. 

‘And maybe lose some weight before you try jumping Yosuke. You dislocated his bony shoulder.’

That said, one step after another, Yukiko walked away. Her eyes burning and set on her next goal, she made her way down the corridor. Taking out her phone that was blinking and vibrating constantly, she scanned the messages.

Rise: is it true chie senpai found yosuke senpai?!   
Naoto: YES   
Rise: where is he now?   
Rise: i want to see him  
Rise: is he alright?  
Rise: why do i have work?   
Rise: all the way in taiwan too  
Rise: chie senpai, is yosuke senpai with you?   
Rise: is he alright?   
Rise: thinner?   
Rise: where can we find him?  
Rise: chie senpai!!  
Naoto: CALM DOWN, RISE. ONE QN AT A TIME.   
Rise: says the person shouting  
Naoto: I’M NOT.  
Rise: no. u’re definitely are. you can’t fool me.   
Rise: can anyone update me on yosuke senpai?  
Kanji: Eh,  
Rise: and Souji senpai too!  
Rise: pleaseeee~

Yukiko took her eyes away for a moment as the lift chimed to signal the first floor. Into the lounge filled with waiting patients, she strolled past them while typing. 

Yukiko: Souji just woke up. A minor concussion.   
Rise: phew~ what a relief  
Yukiko: I saw Yosuke for a few minutes too before Chie took him away.  
Rise: so he is with chie senpai   
Rise: chie senpaop!!  
Rise: senpai*  
Kanji: I’ll go down and check.  
Naoto: CHIE SENPAI WILL BE BUSY QUESTIONING HIM SO BE PATIENT.  
Rise: 10 yrs is enough patience!  
Kanji: Which hospital is Senpai in?  
Naoto: 9 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AND 20 DAYS.  
Rise: My gawt…  
Rise: Sld i add in the minutes and seconds too?  
Naoto: THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH. KANJI, THE ONE IN THE NORTH.  
Rise: LOL  
Kanji: Which hos?  
Rise: so yukiko senpai, how is yosuke senpai?   
Rise: does he look fine?  
Yukiko: I’ll say he looks very different. It’s no wonder no one could find him.   
Rise: so he was hiding from us…  
Rise: tat weasel  
Rise: he’s not gonna disappear on us agn, right?  
Yukiko: That’s Souji’s job. As for us, let’s meet when you’re back, Rise.   
Rise: roger, mdm.   
Naoto: I’LL ORGANIZE MY FINDINGS.   
Kanj: Ok. Thanks. I’m going down now.  
Rise: ……….  
Rise: kanji, you need to type faster…... 

‘Haha. I guess the team will always be the team.’

.

_It wasn’t a dream or illusion? It really is Yosuke?_

There was only one way to know. And it would not be by lying here. 

Sliding his engagement ring back onto his finger, Souji stepped out of the room with determination regaining life in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask me where Teddie is.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His voice cold, his gaze impassive, he leaned down to whisper, ‘I believe you have mistaken. There’s nothing to forgive. Hanamura Yosuke wants to be dead so let him die. Full. Stop.’

The pale hair and emotionless red eyes, which seemingly glowed unnaturally unnerved Chie and to see two almost identical ones side by side was downright disturbing. It was like staring at a pair of albino with other unworldly genes in them.

_Calm down, woman. One’s a robot and the other one...you know him._

Although Chie did not once imagine she would get her old friend back in this manner, looking nothing like his past self. 

All thanks to her not-so-much-legal tapping into Souji’s phone for various-more-private-than-professional reasons, Chie was alerted to Souji’s depressed escapade. Rushing down at her fastest, she arrived at the scene, just in time to see Souji stepping off the cliff and a white haired woman doing her best to hold on to the man but was pulled down, along with Souji’s weight. She was late. 

Chie could have screamed in her panic but before she could, there was a flash of shadow rushing across her peripheral vision, and the rest was like those superhero movies she loved. In a blink of an eye, the two humans, who had disappeared below the edge resurfaced, held tightly in the arms of a combat model with wings. 

Slowly lowered to the ground by the AI, Chie wasted no time in rushing to their side. As she closed the distance, she watched the woman bent over the unconscious Souji, weeping solemnly, like a action movie turned into a tragic romance. To which Chie’s heart almost stopped, thinking the worse, that Souji was severely injured in the fall but as she neared them, her pounding only increased when the woman’s head turned to her abruptly for help. 

‘Chie!’

This voice…

‘Help him!’

Her eyes told her this was a woman but this voice...she knew this voice. She recognised this voice any day, even though a decade has passed.

‘Yosuke?’ 

Chie should question the possibilities but all she cared about was dropping to her knees, cupping the tearing up face and pulling the other into a very painful hug. 

‘YOSUKE, YOU MORON! IDIOT!’

She ended up sobbing miserably as well.

_What happened to you, Yosuke?_

And hours later (after a hospital visit), here she was, back at the station with puffy eyes, doing her best to look professional while taking a statement. Collecting herself, Chie tapped her pen against the report as she leaned on her other hand while cringing a little at the sight of the arm sling. 

‘How’s the arm, Yosu—’

‘Hibika chan, if you please.’

The so-called ‘Hibika chan’ said while crossing her legs, stretching the black tights a little, showing a slender and shaved shin.

Chie, on the other hand, banged her head hard against the desk top. They have been going round and round with this. Apparently, after crying his eyes out, her long time friend has regained his composure to return to his ‘I’m a stranger’ persona. 

_Fine. Two can play this game._

There was no way she was going to let this man disappear again, especially not after all they have sacrificed to find him. 

‘Name?’

‘Hibika chan.’ ‘I am Labrys.’

‘Yosuke and Labrys, is it?’

‘It’s Hibika.’

‘Occupation?’

‘Okama.’ ‘I am a bodyguard.’

‘Missing person and a bodyguard. Noted. What were the two of you doing there?’ 

‘.........’

‘.........’ 

Looking up to the two, Chie glared at the person who refused to cooperate, who was looking elsewhere. 

‘Well?’ 

‘I was there on protection details. To protect Hibika sama.’

Only one replied and there was more silence. Chie waited. Yosuke continued staring ahead without so much of a movement. Not even a blink of the eye. 

‘Hibika sama? Are you broken? Do I need to contact Kirijo Ojousama?’

The robot beside him asked, as concerned as her AI allowed. 

‘..........’

‘Oi!’

Yosue’s eyes blinked and his glossy lips widened into a smug grin. 

‘There’s something call “you have the right to remain silent.”’

Chie’s eyes twitched at the reply. What the @#$%^&*

‘It’s called human rights. I think if we google it, we will know the clause and section it is under. I’m sure a police officer knows the law better than us. Right, _Officer_?’

_Now he’s preaching at me to do my job!!!_

‘Oh and officer, I’m not obstructing your work to investigate. It is just that I have heard that the law can wrong an innocent person by twisting the information given to them.’

_One minute ago, he wouldn’t talk and now he won’t stop insulting me._

‘I mean I told you I am Hibika but you said I’m Yosuke. Who is this ‘Yosuke’ you speak of? I have never met one with that name. Also I am a bartender—

‘NOW YOU’RE A BARTENDER! WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING A OKAMA?’

‘........Ha. I’m a okama working as a bartender.’

Chie could almost hear the ‘duh’ at the end of the sentence and she snapped the pen into half. Ten years may have passed but when it comes to irritating people, Hanamura Yosuke have not lost his touch and she contemplated throwing the two halves at the damn okama. However, she did not.

Instead, she took a deep breath and placed the pen down as gently as she could. If Yosuke was not interested in speaking, or return to them for the matter, she wanted him to at least know everyone is still here for him, if he ever has a change of heart.

‘Hanamura Yosuke. You owe us this much for worrying and searching for you for 10 years so you shut up and listen. Souji spent everyday in regret, doing nothing but getting wasted. I don’t even think he’s eating properly. He also spent his entire fortune on an old estate so you have a home to come home to. Yosuke, he did everything he could. If you hate him, I want you to know he hated himself more. He’s sorry. We’re sorry. I’m not asking you to forgive us but if it help lessen your anger, we have leads to expose what his mother done to you.’

At the mention of Souji’s mother, the Yosuke who was listening, stood up immediately, not caring if the chair was overturned, hitting the floor with a loud thud. Labrys too joined him, watching her cautiously. 

‘Officer,’ he said loudly, for every working personnel to hear, and continued ‘now if you would be so kind to listen carefully, Hibika Kirijo was at the cliff side for a stroll with her bodyguard when they saw a man trying to commit suicide. She tried to stop him from doing it as it was a crime to watch someone die and do nothing. The robot saved both of them. I have a broken arm trying to do so. Now it’s hurting again. May I leave to rest?’

His voice cold, his gaze impassive, he leaned down to whisper, ‘I believe you have mistaken. There’s nothing to forgive. Hanamura Yosuke wants to be dead so let him die. Full. Stop.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger again. Lol.  
> Next will be the last chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closure for everyone.

_Bar’s closed for the holidays. We wish everyone and their family a cosy and joyous New Year._

It was as the bouncer said, the bar was closed and yet, he was still standing guard out front, so it must mean someone is in. Not to mention the man did not stop him from coming down the stairs when he said he was here for Hibika. 

Putting weight on the door handle, Souji pushed the heavy door inwards. 

At first glance, the bar seemed empty, except for a lone figure sitting at one of the arm chairs and Souji’s hope dropped seeing her.

‘Kirijo san, it’s a surprise to see you here. It has been a while.’

‘Indeed. It really has been a long time since we last met. However, that is not to say I am surprised to see you, for I do own this joint. We are bound to meet one day, Seta.’

Pouring into one of the two empty glasses, she invited him over. 

‘Do join me for a drink.’ 

Taking the glass of red wine extended to him, Souji complied. 

‘Cheers.’

‘Cheers.’

But he felt the need to question this uncanny meeting. 

‘I have no idea the Kirijo family is venturing into this line of business.’ 

‘We are not. Consider this,’--gesturing to the entire bar, Kirijo corrected him--‘A small gift for someone. He told me he needed a place and this is my way of helping him.’

‘Who are you trying to help?’ 

Swirling the red liquid around, Kijiro picked her words just as carefully. 

‘Someone who have always been there for me. Do you have someone like that as well?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then, might I ask what would you do for them when given the same question?’

‘They can stay at my place.’ 

‘My sentiments, exactly. Where they can rest and where I know they will be safe. Although I heard you went beyond that, buying an entire building with quite the view too.’ 

‘No. We’re shadowed by an even taller apartment, which to my knowledge, is actually owned by the Kirijo group as well.’

_Is she mocking me?_

‘No. It does have a great view. That I’m very sure.’

The well mannered lady assured him with a genuine smile, holding no ill intention.

‘But you know, in the end, it isn’t where that counts but who lives in it that does, which is the ideology behind the seemingly disruptive decor of this bar. Fuuka told me you frequent our humble establishment. In your honest opinion, tell me does the aesthetics fare well?’ 

‘It’s like a showroom of different parts of different houses.’ 

That was his first impression and it still is. 

‘And you aren’t wrong. The person, who designed the place, asked us about our favorite corner of our homes, collected all our ideas and combine them into one. Thus, the clashing styles and colours. My contribution would be these we are sitting on.’

‘That does sound like you. I remember you have a private collection of books kept in your library.’ 

‘Some of them are here now.’

And she ran her index finger gently through the row of them. 

‘Although I doubt anyone will read them in a bar. But I believe one day, someone will.’

Turning to Souji, her elegant features held a hopeful beam before shifting to regard the empty counter fully.

‘While his is the bar top kitchen where he can make a sandwich for his loved one and where he knows the other is at least eating something.’ 

Souji froze, stunned by her words.

_She knows._

At long last, he saw the direction of this conversation. 

With her back still facing Souji, she explained, ‘because that is all he ever needed. It wasn’t the fancy piano over there or the extravagant Japanese garden of the wealthy. It was the well being, the smiles of someone he loves that he cares about.’

_Yosuke…._

‘If you know where he is, please...you have to tell me.’ 

_I need to know how he is too._

‘Seta. He has been hurt gravely once. Both physically and psychologically. He’s afraid of being hurt again. Understand a person for not wanting that anymore.’

’....but he came back. I will do anything for him but living without him is something I can’t do.’

 _And I jumped...In front of him._

‘I want to apologize to him for doing something so stupid. If he’s alive and if he really came back for me, I don’t want to lose him again.’

Kijiro shook her head. A little reluctantly. 

‘Please. I promise, if he pushes me away and if he’s indeed better off without me, I’ll leave immediately. I won’t bother him anymore.’

‘................’

‘Please. Mitsuru Oneesama. I’ll beg you if I must.’ Souji choked out the last sentence and in the midst of him dropping to his knees, she spoke.

‘If you need someone to eat a meal with, my friend outside can accompany you if you don’t mind. He knows a place with good sandwiches.’

Removing her hand that was stopping Souji from kneeling, she slipped it into her coat pocket and pulled out something to push it towards the desperate man. 

‘Souji, how long was it that we addressed each other as such?’

‘Too long.’ 

‘I agree. You have grown. This is a gift from me to you, which I hope it can make up for all those years I left you to fend for yourself, alone in this scheming family of ours. I promise you that will change. Now go.’ 

‘And you?’

‘Not alone. I’m actually waiting for someone before you came. After that, I’m joining my family at Fuuka’s place. So although it’s early but I wish you a Happy New Year.’ 

‘Thank you.’ 

Clutching the cold metal in his palm, Souji left. 

.  
..

‘I told you it’s closed.’

‘No shit, genius.’ 

‘Ha. I like your rich attitude, brat. You know, I’m feeling generous today so I’ll treat you to this really nasty sammie somewhere. Move it, kid.’ 

‘I want a full set meal with drinks.’ 

‘Oh. Better. 10 double shots, Princess.’ 

‘Great. Let’s go, Jerk.’

.  
..

‘You can come out now. He left.’ 

‘Thank you.’ 

Taking the empty seat that’s now warmed, he sat down slowly and stiffly as Kijiro filled the third wine glass on the table. 

‘Please help yourself to some wine to warm yourself and he didn’t see you so you can relax.’ 

‘It wasn’t him. It’s my old joints acting up again. The cold of winter is merciless towards the old like me.’ 

‘That worries me. Shall I increase the heater’s temperature and some warm water for you?’

‘Your kind gesture is more than enough. I am, however keen for some otoso. Would you like some too, Kirijo ojousama?’

‘Excellent suggestion. I haven’t have any since you left to work for Souji. I miss your special recipe.’

‘Before that, I want to thank you so much for helping me with my selfish requests time and again.’

_‘Kijiro ojousama, please, I urgently request your assistance.’_

‘It’s the least I could do for all the love you showered on me. Not to mention it’s a life that you were carrying in your arms. I couldn’t possibly turn you away.’

_’Please. He’s dying.’_

‘Although I must strongly ask you not to do it again. Salt water could have damaged you beyond repair. How was I to answer to Grandmother if that happened to you?’ 

‘If she’s still the Old Master imprinted in my records, I am sure she would understand my course of actions were executed with valid reasons.’ 

‘I concede. She was an extraordinary woman in her own rights, as considering the times where she came from. To build our family name up from nothing to what it is. However, the thing I respected most was how she never lost sight of the meaning of being human. You were one of her last gifts to us and both me and Souji are fortunate to have you in our lives. Thank you.’

‘It is my honour to serve under her.’ 

‘However, I would like to take the opportunity to remind you that Grandmother has entrusted you with me. So please, be careful if the same situation, I pray not, is to happen again.’ 

’Yes, Mitsuru Ojousama.’ 

‘And one last thing, I will be taking over as the President soon. I anticipate them to take drastic actions to secure their positions. Thus, when it gets rough, you are to lay low until everything is over.’

‘Yes, Madam.’

‘And with that said, you may have the pick of your favorite floor as your safe house. A front view or a side view of Souji’s room?’ 

‘Ha. Ha. Please don’t tease me.’

_‘These two are my grandchildren. As of today, you’ll be in charge of their well being, which includes playing with them.’_

_‘I do not think that is wise. I am after all, returned because I have gone against the instruction of my previous owner.’_

_’I am aware of that and have gone through your visual and audio files. From the analysis result, you are indeed deemed defective. As you bypassing instructions, doing things on your free will is not a wanted trait.’_

_’Yes.’_

_’However, I have also noticed the so-called ‘instructions’ given to you were also the abusive upbringing of your previous employers, such as no rest for their young children till they mastered the piano piece or waking up at dawn to finish extra curriculum. Thus, I have aborted the Maintenance team’s decision to scrape you.’_

_’That is unwise.’_

_’Is it? Are you questioning me? When I’m the President?’_

_’No. Of course not. I have spoken out of line.’_

_’And that’s what I precisely need from you. To step out of line when needed. My children, have long been corrupted by the filth of power and money, are incapable of raising these two like decent human any longer. While you, a robot, have shown more sympathy and affection than them, which makes me feel safe to leave these two in your care. Do not fail me.’_

_’Yes. Your exact command, please.’_

_’Your priority will be to spoil them. In a reasonable fashion, of course. As for how much is ‘reasonable’, I am sure you can gauge it well.’_

_’Affirmative, Madam.’_

_’Good, Futashiro.’_

.  
..

 

‘Yukiko senpai.’

‘Hey, Yukiko.’ 

‘Here. These are the amount of dirt I got on that old woman.’

‘Bitch. You meant “old bitch”. There, I corrected it for you.’

Naoto, who’s usually disapproving of language, nodded in approval.

‘Alright, old bitch it is. And the best thing is I won’t have to see her anymore. Starting today.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘We’re getting a divorce, obviously. ‘

‘Yukiko…’

‘Oh my god.’

‘Don’t. I don’t need any pity from anyone. From the beginning, I married Souji only to get my revenge on his mother for murdering my career and to expose what she did to Yosuke.’

‘Yeah. We are all here for the same reason but are you sure? You two are married for close to a decade.’

‘No, why would I want to stay as the mistress?’

‘By law, you’re the wife and he’s the mistress.’

‘Technicality, but we all know better. And frankly, Souji’s faithfulness to Yosuke scares me. You have no idea how many times he would rather sit in his office and watch the sun rises than come home. Or the number of the times I have to ask Futashiro san to check that he’s not dead somewhere on the street.’

‘I know what you mean. He was a mess.’

‘He should stop now that he knows Yosuke’s alive.’

‘About that...Yosuke doesn’t seem to want anyone to know that he’s alive. He told me he’s not Yosuke and that he’s dead.’

‘What?! Why?!’ 

‘I….don’t...know…I only know he is very insistent that we drop the whole thing.’

‘I am not sure about Yosuke senpai but studies have shown that victims have a tendency to not want any exposure as society are as unsympathetic to victims as they are to the aggressors.’ 

‘No. I think if it is the Yosuke we know, he’s probably afraid it will ruin Souji’s life. I mean, look at it from a different way, if all these were to get out, Seta’s family name, reputation will be damaged. I don’t think Yosuke has the heart to do that to Souji.’

‘Yeah…’

‘You have a point.’

‘I don’t like it! I want justice done! Yosuke senpai deserves every second of it!’

‘Rise, we all do but let’s respect Yosuke’s wishes as well. He has his rights to decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life. So for all these, let them decide what to do with it. Okay?’ 

‘........’

‘Alright….’

‘Ok. Now that’s out of the way, let’s get on with our yearly celebration…..where’s Kanji? In the bedroom?’

‘No. He couldn’t find Souji senpai so he made a new year resolution to find him before the year ends.’

‘That’s not how new year resolution works.’

‘You think he cares?’

‘Eh...Probably not. But it’s almost midnight, let’s go get him or he’s breaking our tradition.’

‘That’s a sound suggestion. I’ll find him.’

‘I’ll go with you, Naoto.’ 

‘I’ll stay here and make soba for everyone. The Amagi Inn style.’

‘Don’t burn the kitchen down, Yukiko.’

‘It’s instant pack. I only need to boil!’

‘Hahaha. It’s a joke. You do that while I’ll get Teddie from the station and some ice cream along the way.’ 

‘Alright! Move out, team!’

.  
..

 

Following the man, Souji was led down to a familiar area. So familiar, it was almost the same route he took home every day. Close to the back gate to his building, the man turned and entered the one right opposite his home.

_Yosuke’s here?_

His guide then jerked his head at him, motioning at him to catch up and he jogged a little to match their pace, eager to find out his final destination. 

The lift stopped at the 8th floor, opening to reveal only 1 unit. 

‘Here we are. You have the key. Now get out, I have somewhere else to go.’

‘Thank—

The lift door has already closed. 

A couple of floors up, moving down the wide, air conditioned glass corridor, Souji had a clear view of the building where he lives and own. An understatement as he could practically look into his living room, which was dimmed. And in the past, if he ever looked up, he might have seen Hibika. But of course, he was too drunk to care, so gone in his sorrow that he was either on the floor looking at the ceiling or in the toilet, vomiting everything out, never in it to look out at the world….

Finally, coming to the door with trembling hands, Souji hesitated. If he guessed correctly, the man he was searching for a decade was a stone throw away, which all seemed too unreal and more like a dream. 

_This is it._

Pushing the key into the keyhole, with a click, Souji twisted it. The weight felt almost effortless on his arm, he pushed the door in. 

The apartment was posh, much like Mitsuru’s taste and big, as expected of the Kirijoo’s wealth. And at the end of the open space living room was a television playing Kōhaku Uta Gassen loudly, opposite to a kitchen island. 

Letting the door shut itself behind him, he hastened his steps towards the person sitting before the counter in a high chair, watching the show with the front turned away from him. The person has long white hair, tailing to the smaller back. As he neared, he could see it was glossy, natural unlike the rough, frizzled bleached of the fashionable. 

Rounding to the front of the person, he stood firmly and his gaze studied the face. The complexion was terrible, so many shades paler that any lighter, the veins were going to show. 

But he knew this man...

‘Yosuke…’ 

The man did not react, with his full attention on the blasting television.

‘Look at me.’

‘.........’

‘Yosuke, please.’ 

‘I’m sorry but I have to tell you I am not Yosuke.’

The word ‘not’ was strongly emphasized. 

‘From that height, Hanamura Yosuke died the instant he hit the ocean. I’m simply made to look like him but I’m not him. I’ll never become him as well. It was all an act to make you forget him.’

‘By looking like him?’

‘By looking like him.’ 

‘And you wore makeup to look completely different from him? How is that “like him”?’ 

‘........’

The other paused, mused before answering, unfazed by the question. 

‘When I said “like’, I meant his behavior, which is part of a plan to replace Yosuke’s place in your memories by having someone who is similar around you.’

‘Is that so? Then, why not simply make a different face and save on the makeup?’

‘.......The face is for slowly revealing myself.‘

‘Why not right away and make me give up from the first day?’ 

‘There’s a process. To get close to you first.’

‘Get close to me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Right. I have seen you countless of times, you could never look me in the eyes for too long. You ignore me half the time. Are you sure that is call “getting close to me”? And one more thing, Yosuke isn’t afraid to look at me right in the eyes and he can sales pitch me into the floor.’ 

‘I’m not him. I said “similar”, not “exactly alike”.’ 

‘When you are supposed to be programmed to be him? When being ‘him’ is part of the plan? I know the Kirijo and their projects, they can replicate a person to the last details but they seemed to have failed with you. Badly. Hibika.’

Pushing himself into the cracks of the conversation, Souji too moved into the man’s personal space while the other also challenged it by not moving away.

_There’s only one way to know._

Souji placed his hand over the other’s hand, which was resting on the white furnished table top and still wearing a glove. And immediately, he knew. Instead of the the stiff constitution of metal, it was the softness of a human hand. 

Looking down, underneath the black crisp dress shirt buttoned up to the top, Souji could faintly see the outline of a bulge pushing up. Something that was flat and circular. It was well hidden by the shine of the material but not completely if anyone was looking closely. 

_Liar._

Fingers digging under the glove, Souji grasped onto the thinner wrist firmly. If he concentrated, if the world around them turns into nothing, leaving just him and Yosuke, he would have found the faint drumming on his fingertips, buried under all the bricks they have built around them. 

Closing his eyes, Souji cherished the warmth emitting from the small points of contact as the television roared in celebration of the coming of a new year.

‘Happy New Year.’

Souji leaned in to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his love’s cheek and muttered softly into the other’s ear. 

‘I’m home, Yosuke.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a sad ending, not exactly a happy one either...bittersweet at most? 
> 
> Speech intensive to contrast with the theme of the story, which is 'I don't want to talk about it, don't force me.'   
> Making someone talk about something isn't always the best course of action.
> 
> I will be adding a epilogue later.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it although it's terrible.


End file.
